…today, March 9th…
I did a workout today…and wore my hat backwards…why? You might laugh, because I saw a post of of a fitness/motivational account I follow and she had her hat backwards and I thought…
“I have never been able to pull off a backwards hat.”
I got to the gym and looked myself in the mirror…and had to smile and laugh all at the same time. Who says I can’t wear a hat backwards…? Might not be the best look, might not be something I do all the time…but who says I can’t? Ummm…that would be me and myself this morning filling my head with that message. So what did I do, got uncomfortable and turned my hat around. I felt a bit silly…and yet for the next 60 minutes, sweating it out, rocked it like I this was an everyday occurrence.
…let’s go back 20 years…
There was a pastor at the church I once frequented who gave a sermon one Sunday morning that to this day still sticks with me. The sermon started with a story about switching up something in our routine everyday. He used the example of where you sat in church and asked how many of us go to the same seat every time…and asked that for the rest of Lent if we would sit in a different part of the church each Sunday. The message focused around bringing a bit of what he would call change or discomfort or curiosity or newness to our routine of life. There is foundation and merit in ensuring you have a strong foundation to your life…yet when you are get too comfortable you have the capacity to loose the awe and fear that God and life want and provide to you. And distractions become invited that draw us away from understanding embracing the awe and fear that is the glory of life…
Interestingly enough I was met with a similar story this past weekend during a service where the conversation around the gift of life was at the center. In order to recognize the gift of life we have been given we must be drawn to waking up each day not to get comfortable in where we are at and to always seek the curiosity, awe and light that is available to us to capitalize on. So many of us get too comfortable that we take for granted the gifts that we both have and that are available to us. So many of us get too comfortable that we fail to recognize finding the awe in that which surrounds us and we surround ourselves with distraction that draw us away from the true path we are build and create magic within and around.
The purpose of me turning my hat around this morning during my workout was two-fold: 1) Just to be silly and find a smile…and…2) To remind myself that while I am enough and what I bring to the table is amazing.
While I am someone who strives to wake up and be better than yesterday, is one of the most self-aware people (which means I recognize faults and ‘failures’ often) and yet also continues to try to understand why sometimes I react and act the way in which I do (welcome to the gift of that we are always learning and re-learning ourselves)…I am also someone who is fearful. I am fearful of the ‘what ifs’ and I am fearful of hurt and trauma and I am fearful that I might have expectations set so high that I might never find or meet them and I am fearful of being vulnerable and showing taking down my walls.
Will Smith once said…”Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real, but fear is a choice.”
Okay…I admit. There is a third reason for the backwards hat. It was a statement to myself, as I dig through that which I have fear around and try to break those thought patterns, feelings and way in which it causes me to react in situations…a backwards hat today was a statement to myself to say…
“You do you…no matter who told you in the past you couldn’t or you weren’t good enough or that you weren’t pretty or stylish enough or that your choices aren’t the right ones…YOU DO YOU. Embrace the fear…let it ignite you alive…and walk with all the confidence in the world that what you have gone through is why you are your brilliant self. No apologies, no regrets, nothing to be shameful about. So take the hat and turn it around and show off that confidence of embracing your fear and showing your awe.”
I probably won’t rock the backwards hat often…but every once in awhile…who knows you just might see me with it. And who knows, I might just be wearing a different color than black on the day that happens…Ha!
Trust me when I say…that there is always room to be better, invite fear, find the awe, eliminate distractions…and surround yourself with that which deepens your foundations and fuels your fire.
This morning I asked myself “What if I wear my hat backwards…?” The answer to that was…
“You might just find that confident smile underneath that hat bill that you need for today.”
Here’s to the backwards hat today for the reminder. #grateful