What makes you happy? Because I say whatever makes you happy…do that. Whether it breaks the societal norms you grew up with or the expectations you lived with or what you think others would want…if it doesn’t make you happy…do what does.
There I was standing in the midst of two families…from different parts of India, one from the North, one from the South. Language barriers were apparent, affinity towards their own was apparent…yet what was also apparent was acceptance for what was happening – the merging of their two families into one, because of ‘what makes you happy.’ Here I stood, and without understanding a word that was being spoken, the traditions that were being practiced or who came from where…what I understood was that this ‘village’ came together to support happiness.
Life is simple and yet utterly complex, I often say. We forget the simplicity of life as we are surrounded by ‘complexities’ daily…or we strive to create the ‘complexity’ because of ‘happiness.’ Yet when we remove the dressings, the elaborate outfits, the name brands, we stand there…”jeans and tshirt” – good ol’ simplicity.
India…a world away it seems. Culturally, very different from where I am from and what I grew up with. Words spoken are different, not only the language spoken but how the words are said. Yet, being a world away for the past two weeks made me realize, it isn’t really a world away in all the ways one might think. From a human-perspective, it is more similar than it is different.
As humans we all start with nothing, we are born with that…and what we are given day in and day out allows us to carve a path and define ourselves. We all want and strive for more, more for ourselves, our kids, our future. Sometimes that is encompassed by financial security, sometimes by the size of our home or where we live, sometimes by the clothes we wear and the brands on them. Sometimes it is about how we look or the connections we have to others…Sometimes it is about the material things or the adventures we are able to experience and the level of extravagance…
What I experienced with complete strangers in India, was that while we are all born from nothing, even if we have something and others have more…what really defines us is how we show up for our village, those who cross our paths, those who stand by us through all the ups and downs…What defines us and what gives us “wealth” is nothing material…it is what cannot be heard or seen, but felt. Without words, I felt like a true queen in India. I felt seen. Part of that was the America-vibe I gave off, no doubt…yet part of it was due to the fact that I was curious, I showed up with respect for tradition and I let go of expectation and allowed experiences to take hold.
To be able to be yourself is a true gift – I learn more and more with each passing day. And those that bring out your true self are your village, your confidants, your people. To be yourself and to be given the gift to be yourself is precious…India gave me that, the people I crossed paths with gave me that. We take it for granted…but giving the gift of time to another human…sharing experiences…that is what life is truly about. Time we cannot get back…and filling it with that which makes us happy, surrounded by those who deliver happiness to us…precious.
As I stood there and engaged with new friends…we told our stories and we shared aspects of happiness. We spoke about what the real “Happiness Package” is compromised of…Each of us had a slightly different answers to that, as what we grow up believing and what we learn aren’t always matched or in alignment…that said, there was agreement that the whole package included security, having peace, having the ability to share experiences and the small moments with those you love, and to always have someone in your court that chooses everyday to fight for you and share love…
And ultimately, the entire happiness package resides in your heart…it is filled by people who choose to give with kindness and respect, it is filled with the immense joy you experience when you let go and allow yourself to feel, it is filled when you choose happiness…and it is filled when you realize this world is about “we” more than “I”…
India…your “words” (or rather actions) meant the world…thank you for the reminder to “Do That.”