Hopeful. Astute. Respectful. Determined.
I remember to this day the first poem I memorized…you know, for one of those English classes in school…it was written by Robert Frost, “A Road Less Travelled” and the words of that poem often surface…
…two roads diverged in a wood, and I…I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference…
I am not sure if it is the time of year, or the climate surrounding us all at this moment, the changes of seasons, or candidly, just realizing truths and becoming more grounded in them than ever before…but let’s suffice to say there has been a statement told over the years and recently hitting a different chord with me…
“I wish it wasn’t so hard…” or “I wish it was easier for you…” or “It shouldn’t be so hard.”
Today…I want to unpack it…
Definition of hard (adjective): not easy to bend, cut or break; difficult to understand, do, experience, or deal with; needing a lot of physical or mental effort; not pleasant or gentle; not easily yielding to pressure.
When you read each word that comes with the definition of hard you know what comes to my mind…? GRATITUDE. What a gift it is to be blessed with hard. God gave us the gift of life…and what gifts to be surrounded by that are not easy to break…or to be graced with an opportunity that is difficult to understand and requires your physical or mental effort…what a beautiful thing to have to overcome and understand unpleasantries to allow us to appreciate what a gift of life we have been given.
It is often said, of which I 1000% agree with, that “anything worth anything in life does not come easily…because if it does…it wasn’t truly worth the ‘hard.’”
In that spirit, I am going to choose to define HARD a bit differently…see if it resonates differently…H.A.R.D.: Hopeful. Astute. Respectful. Determined.
When I reflect on my life, past and present, and what has been/is hard…and I look in the mirror and the truth behind my eyes and heart…I am filled with gratitude from my hard…
Yes, I will be the FIRST to raise my hand…I have absolutely taken the path that is less travelled for a lot of my life…not only because that is in my nature and who I am at my core…but because I believe in hard. I wasn’t raised to “like” easy.
My childhood was beautiful…and damn hard. I faced bullies throughout life…and they also taught me to rise above, be the bigger person and lean into my gifts of music, math and writing…Becoming a state pianist was hard. Having an opportunity to be part of one of the most elite choirs in the country was hard. Standing in front of my highschool delivering a commencement speech was hard. Yet these are moments I am so insanely proud of.
Training for my first marathon was hard. Training to compete for Boston to get accepted was hard. Having focus and discipline to wake up every day prepared to run and train was hard. Visiting Italy while in the middle of a training program and having to wake up to run 22 miles through the hills was hard…and so beautiful…
Graduating college and my masters program with honors was hard. Hitting many walls in my professional career before a door opened was hard. Understanding what the value of a $1 is, when I nothing, was hard. Feeling as if I didn’t know where I would turn and then a door opened, was hard. Becoming an executive early in my career was hard. Failing and succeeding and failing and succeeding…it is hard.
Then you get into the depths of love. Nothing worth your heart investing in and giving 1000% is easy…love is hard…because it is the most real form of your truth. Knowing that you will fail in love is scary and hard to even want to open. And when you find your human…you fight, you lean in, you learn, you give it your everything…every single day…and it is worth every single ounce of hard.
Having my kids…was hard. Being a mom is hard. Being a “step-mom” is hard. You question, you try to do what you can to make their chapters ‘easier’ and yet know the hard is what is best for them. It is the most rewarding and difficult.
Being faced with severe health issues is hard. Overcoming and living with them is hard.
Being a good human and a human that rises above is hard, because we aren’t perfect. Apologizing and learning that tomorrow is a new day and you it will be different tomorrow is hard. Accepting your truth is hard. Loving your small village and protecting them fiercely is hard.
My list can go on and on…because hard is more like a VERB in my book. It is something we do in our family. We don’t do easy…we lean into the hard…we lean into becoming better humans and fighting for what we believe in, stand for, and protecting our sacred space.
I have worked hard for my hard. And I will protect it to the ends of the earth and I will protect those that are part of my hard with every ounce of my being. I will protect what I have built through the hard with all I have.
I will shout from the rooftops how proud I am of those that choose hard. I will continue to embrace and seek out hard because it makes my world interesting, complex, adventurous, and fills my gratitude cup every single day. Hard has made my village, my family, and myself stronger over time.
If we all embraced hard…imagine the beauty, appreciation, respect, and awesomeness we would be surrounded by even more than we have the privilege today to be part of.
We are afforded the beauty of ONE life…
What about this blessing screams “take the easy?” or “wish for easy?”
H.A.R.D.: Hopeful. Astute. Respectful. Determined.
Try it…take the path less travelled…embrace the hard…you may be surprised how soul filling it is. And when you find your hard, don’t apologize, give it all you have, fight for it, and protect it with every boundary and breath you have…
