As young as I can remember I admired and looked up to her. She was a trusted soul, taught me the grace and strength of what I had inside of me and that patience would never fail me. To say she loved me unconditionally was an understatement…she was always there…not because I was easy to always understand, not because we were blood related, not because she agreed with every path I took…but because we just truly brought out the best in each other, delivered honesty through our love, and inspired one another to keep adventuring through this thing we call life.
She had the softest touch that made you feel safe. Yet she was fierce and focused on where her boundaries, morals and beliefs stood and never turned away from ensuring you knew that. Her cooking lit up the room and filled the neighborhood with smells that attracted everyone to want a seat at the table. Sitting in a bathrobe, doing crossroad puzzles, sipping morning coffee was her ‘me’ time…and she was never caught dead without lipstick, hair done, and the perfect outfit when she left the house.
As someone who grew up in small town Louisiana, her thirst for knowledge, adventure and love never stopped. She was a mighty bold woman, all five-feet of her…and when she entered a room or asked for something to be done, people moved. Fear was not in her vocabulary. The word “can’t” was never uttered in her household. She worked hard for everything she had and believed she was deserving of anything she put her mind to…or that is what she made all of us believe. And swearing and using God’s name in vain was an absolute NO…unless you enjoyed the taste of soap. “Educated people need not to use words like that…” … I always remember her saying.
I believe my love of writing and journaling stemmed from a few weeks one summer spent being with her and my grandfather, journaling everyday about my adventures, to share back with my parents upon return to CO. My faith was learned and developed through being with and around her and my grandfather. I chose to be baptized when I was 18 because of the path of faith they had allowed me to learn throughout the years. My grandmother became my sponsor for my baptism and I think she enjoyed pouring water on my head over 20 years ago at that midnight mass.
My thirst for never settling is due to watching and listening to her life journey of starting from nothing to having what I viewed as “all the riches”…given the foundation she (and my grandfather) created for our family. My love for food (especially cajun) and trying anything, no doubt, was instilled in me through and by her. My sense and thirst for quality stems from watching her dress and doing her hair…to her jewelry she wore…to the humans she surrounded herself with. My love for shopping I thank (and sometimes curse) her for…she taught me my feminine side of dressing and the beauty of a great sale.
When I sit and think about it, many of my quirks come from her…The way I say “pecan”…never have elbows on the table when I eat…to always say ‘bless you’ after someone sneezes…my need to make my bed every morning (even in a hotel room)…not wearing hats unless I am working out or dressed up for a dance/derby…always dressing “up” rather than not…skirts or dresses being a non-negotiable in a place of worship…my stoic nature…my curious side (or what I call ‘the brain that never sleeps’)…the attention to detail in all I do…and that I say “whiskey” instead of “cheese” when photos are taken…
She truly believed there was good in everyone and always tried to find it. I watched and learned how she took care of everything precious to her and with such detail. To this day, I find myself sometimes giving more than I should, believing in others, and investing in those I hold close…I think this is my grandmother working through me…teaching at every moment and reminding me that what is worth anything in life requires investment, patience, care and above anything…your prioritized attention.
…And I am fairly certain that without her ‘parking’ herself on the couch during football season every Sunday…I am not sure I would have learned the game or become quite as big of a fan as I am now…and yes, I still have to cheer on the Saints every time they play, just for her…
She was more than a grandmother to me. She was a best friend. A Mom. A confidant. Someone I looked up to. Someone I admired. Someone that to this day I often sit back and wonder…Would she be proud of who I have become and continue becoming? I am not sure I will ever live up to the legacy she left…or the human she was…Though I continue to wake up and work for all I have, who I am, and what I want…and for that I think she is smiling…Not because I have it figured out in any sense, but because I continue to not settle, I continue to have faith, hope and grace…and I continue to give love and act with grace, even when life does not show it back… “Be you Meg. No one else. You are beautiful…And if they don’t like ‘Meg’ that is their loss…” she used to tell me… And that’s what I continue to strive to do…be me, better each day…and holding grace on the days I fall short…
I don’t think there will come a day when I won’t miss her. Where I don’t yearn for her hand to hold mine and just sit next to me. Where I won’t think about her when I make gumbo in my kitchen and want her taste-test of approval. Where I don’t wish I had my shopping buddy to hit all the sales and ‘see how much money we can save.’ Ha.
I was fortunate enough to hold her hand one last time and tell her “I will see you again one day…to share a crossword, watch some football and share a drink and a Reese’s…or two…”
There are individuals in life, albeit the list is small, that I classify as true angels. Those people who would do anything for you, love you with all your scars and doubts and uncertainties (and even when you make it hard for them to love you back), make you smile and if you had another moment to share you would create an adventure with. My grandmother was an angel to me…and continues to be one from high above to this day.
Thank you Grandma, for it all. I love you. I miss you. I am indebted to you for so many things…but mostly to reminding me why love, hope, faith and grace are amazing…and to never stop acting with them them all…in every facet….
Today and always…for you….there are “whiskey” smiles being created and spread…
#whiskey
