If you have been a part of any team I’ve led, had the curiosity to ask questions to me regarding ‘why’ I think the way I do, or just happen to be one of the humans who has crossed my path and stayed long enough to listen, you’ve likely heard the below phrases/words uttered from my lips…
Get uncomfortable. If it isn’t challenging you, if it doesn’t have you a bit afraid, then you aren’t doing it right. Be uncomfortable.
Fail. Fail fast. Don’t fail the same way twice. But fail. It is a GOOD thing to fail.
Anything is possible, you just have to change the way you think about it.
There is the philosophy in business and in life that as humans we do not take enough risk. We don’t embrace change like we should. We rarely leverage our full potential. Yet we speak of it, daily. Motivational speakers make a living around the concept. Leaders challenge their teams with the phrases. Businesses ask their teams to fail. Relationships are all about these principles.
Yet…at the end of the day, few of us truly do these things…to the full extent. I am talking about allowing ourselves to do the serious face plant, fall down, experience the feeling of the world is caving in on you, put ourselves in a situation where we could be told ‘you can’t’ because we want to prove them wrong…or just try something that goes against what society, our friends, or what we have learned says ‘isn’t worth the risk’ or ‘won’t work out’ or ‘can’t be done.’
We don’t do ‘it’ because ‘it’ is UNCOMFORTABLE…we think it is too RISKY…we are afraid of what others will think…we don’t fully ever want to TRUST…the potential to FAIL is high…the potential to get HURT is limitless…the ANXIETY makes our heart beat a bit too fast for our liking…the LOGIC gets in the way of what our HEART and GUT tell us to TRY…
Those thoughts are valid and fair. Reasonable. Expected. Who wants to risk it all? The funny thing is…you don’t get the choice…the choice has already been made for you. So my philosophy…Try it out. #whatdowehavetolose…? Failure. Which teaches us. The only thing we lose is a little pride, a little ego. What receive in return is far greater…let me explain.
2020 has been a year. It has been a year of being uncomfortable…even when I am the “poster child” for a lover of change. 2020 has tested that to the brink. It has been a year of waking up and thinking “I couldn’t possible be tested any further”…and then BOOM…I get mentally, physically or emotionally challenged further than I thought possible to comprehend. It has been a year of throwing plans out the window and living day to day. And for someone who is a major planner (or who likes to plan) let me tell you…that has been the tests of all tests. It has been a year of failures. Personally and professionally. The biggest ones I have ever faced and hope to ever face.
It has also been a year of insane learnings. A year of finding myself in a way I never knew imaginable. A year of truly understanding the meaning of vulnerability (and why it is important to show) – both as a leader and a person. 2020 has brought smiles I couldn’t have imagined I would have encountered, experiences that I am grateful for, and connection with individuals on levels that I am insanely grateful for. It has taught me that brutal honesty, when done with respect, is something that is a rarity and something we should strive to show and give each other more of. It has made me listen more than ever and I still have a ways to go. It has taught me I am stronger than I ever believed I was.
As a leader, as a strong and passionate human, as a mom, and as a person that loves connection and sharing passion, I challenge you to think #whatdoyouhavetolose? Throw the ego and pride to the side. Throw fear out the window. Throw what you thought was ‘normal’ and challenge your definition. Embrace being uncomfortable, listen to those who fuel a fire in you (and challenge you), apologize for faults and for hurt you unintentionally or intentionally caused, and do something everyday that makes you smile…why…#whatdoyouhavetolose?
The answer I believe is NOTHING. Because you won’t lose…you will win if you are paying attention. Even if it doesn’t work out the way you plan, even if you succeed more than you thought was possible, even if you have to fail and restart…you don’t lose anything unless you stop. Unless you give in. Unless you let ‘them’ and the ‘external force’ win.
And as much as I preach the above, because that is what I believe…have since I was a little girl…it does not mean I am not human…that I don’t struggle. I do. Trust me…I DO. But I also don’t give up. I am a stubborn German, and because I believe anything is possible…well…you get the jist…
Recently I have had to dig down, find strength, ignite my inner fire again…
Part of how I do that…music. This weekend I have had a few songs on repeat…loud enough to shake the fear of failure, of the unknown, of ‘what ifs’, of the doubt that I allow to fill my head (even when I know it is not productive)…
Music is one of the few elements in life that shakes me, inspires me, and fuels me…it is like people and crossing paths with them to share stories and experiences and create smiles…it is an avenue of fuel for inspiration and reminds me why I get up every day and face life – because living as an epic disruptor (not just to survive) is SO worth it.
Like I said before…Anything is possible…you just have to change the way you think about it. 😉
I close with a few phrases from the two songs I’ve been blaring…
“Kingdom” by ARTY: “…All I did was stand my ground and it crumbled under me…If it’s in your heart, if it’s in your bones, don’t like your kingdom turn to stone…what if tomorrow never comes?…”
“Complicated” by Face to Face: “You’ve got time to make a choice. Don’t think aloud but have a voice. And when you think the time is right, don’t ever be afraid to fight.”
Next time you get uncomfortable, you are afraid, you fail, you have doubts, or someone or something makes you think you can’t…remind yourself…#whatdoyouhavetolose?
