As a verb…to offer as sacrifice…to suffer loss of, give up, renounce, injure, or destroy especially for an ideal, belief, or end…to sell at a loss…to advance by means of sacfrice…
Sacrifice. A word that I put on the same playing field as ‘failure.’ Often viewed as negative. Viewed as something we as humans should not do if we are truly ‘living a life meant for us…’ or rather, ‘that society has coined for us to live.’ We all sacrifice, each day, with each action, with each choice. Sometimes we are intentionally choosing the sacrifice and others time by what we do and how we move in life, we sacrifice that which we don’t know but we leave behind simply through the act of moving in a direction opposite of the other choice.
Like failure, I view sacrifice as a positive. As long as you are aware of the choice you are making that drives the sacrifice and as long as you can stare yourself in the mirror and be confident in what you sacrifice. And like failure, you are allowed a second chance. Maybe you sacrificed something that you want a swing at bat again for…maybe you sacrificed something for a long time and choose to no longer do that…or maybe you decide that what you thought was worth putting on the silver platter to sacrifice is no longer worth it. That is called being human, learning, owning who you are and what you do, and raising your hand to be better. Like failure…just don’t do it the same way twice…keep rinsing and repeating the same storyline…and not liking the answer if you aren’t willing to change the narrative of how you play this game…the game we call life.
I was told recently…”I think you sacrifice a lot.” It stopped me in my tracks. One, because I was taken aback by the comment. Two, not to play the gender card, but seriously…would you say that to a man? Three…damn straight, the answer is yes…so why are we having this conversation. And lastly…why do you care so much? So I said, “We all sacrifice. Every damn day.”
Listen. I am human. I make mistakes, sometimes daily…and sometimes in the magnitude I prefer to never do again (but remember the rule…never fail the same way twice). Yes, I sacrifice. Growing up and for much of my adulthood, I sacrificed me. What made me tick…as the expense of ensuring others were cared for. I sacrificed paying attention to the beautifully complex and broken girl in the mirror…and made excuses and put bandaids where I shouldn’t have…to try and cover the scars (instead of being proud of them). I sacrificed aspects of what I really wanted because I wanted to prove to society…MHW can fit in.
A few years ago I almost sacrificed my life because I wasn’t paying attention to me…and had to wake up to that realization through a running accident that landed me in the hospital. I don’t talk about it often, because I am mostly mortified of explaining how I got picked up off my feet by my dog and knocked unconscious only to awake to EMTs….and am lucky that I did get hurt more. What emerged from that fall was a new mindset and perspective of what I was willing, and not willing, to sacrifice.
Today, I won’t sacrifice my drive for my career. Work, the drive, business and epic disruption…it fuels me. I am always “on.” I won’t apologize for that. Meet me at eye level and let’s do this…don’t stand in my way…but if you want to stand beside me, with me, and push me to be better…let’s rock and roll. I won’t sacrifice my daily workouts. I often wish they could be longer, more intense and interrupted…but I won’t sacrifice getting them in. Why…? Because it is my outlet. I won’t sacrifice a good glass of wine or cup (of many) of coffee. I won’t sacrifice my direct, honest and sometimes (okay, often) intense approach to how I live life. I will not sacrifice those that are in my small circle…and ensuring that I create the space and time for them. I will not sacrifice sharing a smile because I believe we might not have tomorrow…so make today count.
I sacrifice a lot because of what I state above. Sometimes that is in the form of self care, my ability to have personal relationships, trust and let others in, and the above all, the time I spend with my twins. However, I won’t apologize for that because I can look myself in the mirror and be damn certain of why I do it, who I lean on for support and grace, and that I am a badass living life how I know best to do it…and stay true to myself.
Sacrifice. Let’s change the narrative. Let’s change the tone of that word. Go out and sacrifice. Go out and show the world the light that is brought to you and those you cross paths with when you choose to stand up and own that which makes you tick. Don’t apologize. Own it. Don’t ask for forgiveness…be conscious of the sacrifice…and if you don’t like what you see and feel…change it.
Listen…success in life is no accident. And perhaps…perhaps one day…those that judge, that stare, that ask the question and make the statements…will understand…will understand that this girl…no, this badass, determined, beautifully scared and complex woman and human…that the sacrifices I make are out of love for myself, love for those I have in my inner circle…and for the innate desire I have to make this world an amazingly better place each and every day.
So the statement made to me recently…yes. I do. I sacrifice. And I hear to tell you, I will continue to…and I love what I do, who I am and the impact I am making…
#youarewhatyoudo #letsrockandroll #anythingispossible
