The first memory I have of running was a mile long run at my elementary school in Boulder, CO called the “Fun Run.” I hated it. Mostly because I never was the fast one and always ended up with the blue participation ribbon. My oldest-youngest brother always aced them…he was the runner in the family.

Sports were more of my things…basketball, soccer, softball. As was music, which took over sports in highschool when I dove head-first into choir and piano. Sports never made a full recovery (other than I enjoy going to watch them now), music runs through my veins to this day, and running started to take a front stage in college.

Freshman year is known at the “Freshman 20.” Working out had never been something engrained in me. As a Boulder native, the outdoors were my backyard so hiking and biking were a natural element of my growing up. My Dad believed in his daughter learning how to backpack, camp, throw footballs, and bike up Flagstaff mountain. I was always active, but working out became a new thing when I hit college…of which running started to take flight.

At first running was to…yes…lose weight. Welcome to a young woman, with image and self-esteem issues, and being surrounded by those you believe to be more beautiful than you. Running at that time in my life was more out of a habit, necessity, and a toxic need…to be and look like someone I was not. Don’t get me wrong, I learned how to win races (no more blue participation trophy!) and run properly…but it was never something I enjoyed. It was an addiction to fuel my unhealthy love for myself.

My first marathon was with my Dad. Twin Cities Marathon in Minneapolis/St. Paul. To this day, after 5 marathons and 14 halves, it is still one of favorites. It was my senior year of my undergraduate degree, we would do long runs on Saturday mornings (yes, always fun after a night out!), and it struck the chord of why running will always be something I turn to until my legs tell me ‘no more.’

Crossing a finish line of a marathon is something I can’t explain the feeling of…you’ll have to experience it for yourself. And let me tell you, the feeling is one of the greatest things you can give yourself…and it never tires, every race it is there – at least for me it has been. No matter what type of race you have, crossing that line gives you grace, humility and compliments you in a selfless way that not much I have found in life can do. It is a rush of endorphins…the ‘runner’s high’…coupled with ‘I F**KING DID IT!’ feelings.

Marathons became something during my 20s that gave me a purpose. I trained, I learned new ways to run, I tested my limits…and then I ran Boston…and that, to date, is one of my greatest accomplishments. Because I had to hit a certain qualifying status to get in, it was one of the toughest races I have done (due to how my body decided to ‘show up’ that day), and how it tested my mental game.

That what running provides for me now – the mental game. I can workout in a variety of fashions – yoga, weights, biking, hiking, pilates, … you name it … I am down to try it – but running…running isn’t a workout for me anymore…that’s just an extra benefit.

For me running is a release. It is a way for me to calm my mind, to stop the overthinking, the racing, the thousands of items constantly ‘turned on’ that I am thinking through…running allows me to shut those off and ‘just be.’ Granted, it usually takes me 3-5 miles to even get to that point, which is probably why half marathons have become my jam…and why marathons are an achievement for me, and why I may consider doing an ultra at some point…

With my work bringing me all over at times and my love for adventure, the ability to pack a pair of shoes and be able to find that release wherever the plane takes me is something I am grateful for. I have been able to see parts of cities, neighborhoods, and landscapes I would have never experienced in a gym, uber, or workout class.

My love for running has evolved like my love for myself. At first it was out of necessity. I knew it was good for me to be healthy, to breath in fresh air, and to get in my cardio. I still know those things are good for me and necessary but it is so much more…now I know what is really important is to always push yourself to be better than yesterday, find an escape (we all need those avenues), and to be able to look yourself in the mirror with a smile to say ‘I F**KING CAN DO THIS.’

Running is my outlet. It allows me to be me, to not apologize for who I am, what I am not, and pushes me to continue to become better and achieve anything I set my mind to. It is my teacher for my mantra #anythingispossible. I can honestly say I love running, not because of how I feel all the time when I am doing it because it has allowed me to truly love who and what I am every time I finish.

“Running is a mental game…the cheapest form of therapy…and reminds you in your weakest moments that you are stronger than you will ever know.”