I came across a quote recently that make me ‘stop scrolling’ and save it to my album of quotes…
“Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. What if we started concentrating on leaving better kids for our planet.” ~Anonymous
I will be the first to admit…The journey of parenthood is no joke. In fact you don’t know what it even means until you are a ‘parent.’ There is no manual, there is no ‘right way’ and just when you believe you have nailed down a ‘recipe’ kids teach you that the spontaneity of life and learning is essential, as it happens regardless of the plan and structure you have put in place.
Years ago, it was over coffee that the conversation was had about raising good humans and what that meant. My sons are lucky enough to have co-parents that share similar philosophies on what a ‘good human’ entails, yet come at it from unique and different ‘colored’ lens’. Before they were ever born, it was etched on paper “Traits for the Boys” – which has become the framework of how they are raised. While the ‘how’ has evolved in what I would consider one of the most modern and beautiful ways children can be raised – by a village and not ‘the status-quo’ – the ‘traits’ are the north-star fundamentals. They are the guiding light to how decisions are made and how we ensure that together, as co-parents and with their village, there is the influence of ‘goodness’ in all they do.
These traits fold into everyday routine (which kids thrive off of), discipline, manners, the love they show for each other and those around them, and how they interact with everyone and everything that crosses their path.
The other day a woman mentioned to me, “Your boys are so respectful. They are sitting there, sharing their book, looking around at everything going on, and said ‘thank you’ when I gave them water. Truly impressive.” I smiled and thanked her for the kind comment…For me that is expected and part of their ‘normal’…
When there is a conscious commitment to raise kids as good humans, expect high standards, and give them opportunity to learn, fail and flourish…we use words like “impressive.” My goal is to start to require “impressive” to be the “status-quo”…and yes…This takes a village…
I am humbled and grateful for my village that continues to let them become their unique selves within the framework of what ‘good’ really should be…
So I agree with the quote Mr./Mrs. “Anonymous”…rather than the focus on our planet…let’s focus on our humans…our children…our future…because without prioritizing ‘goodness’ we won’t have a planet worth wanting to be part of…
#youarewhatyoudo
Traits for the Boys
INDEPENDENCE. To be independent creates confidence within an individual that says ‘I can’ instead of ‘I can’t.’ It eliminates barriers of dependency (that let’s face it, we all have) which do not serve you and allows you when life gets tough (and it will…multiple time) for you to stand on your own two feet, put one foot in front of another, and move forward…Independence creates action and decision. It gives a human the ability to stand up for who they are and not conform to society (whenever they figure out when in life to do that…for some of us this comes later than we hope…so the goal is to instill it young here…). While humans are meant to be connected and rely on each other, one of those most beautiful things to find in life, being independent ensures that at your core you can care for yourself and look yourself in the mirror every day and say “I’ve got this. I’m a badass. I get better everyday.”
EMPATHY. We were given two ears and one mouth. Yet as humans we have a desire to share our point of view, help (when listening might be the best path), or offer a suggestion of how to solve…It is often that leveraging our ability to ‘just be’ and sit with another individual, understand their point of view, learn a new way of thinking, and soak it in…creates the space for us to become more understanding. We don’t have to see eye to eye, we don’t have to agree, but it is often the ability to understand the fabric that each of us is created and framed from that allows our ability to build more bridges than tear them down. For professional life it is key and for personal life…those that you let into that inner circle…we all need the ability to lean and be seen at times…
INITIATIVE. Proactive. Be one step ahead. Think through every situation. Initiate and make a plan. Call the play, make a decision. You either create the life you want or you wait back and let life form around you. We were given one life…make the most of it, and wake up every day to take action that makes you, the people around you, and the community you interact with better.
INTEGRITY. Follow through on what you say you are going to do. While simply stated, hard to do 100% of the time. Have grace for yourself that we are not perfect being, we will slip up, we will make mistakes. Have the integrity to do stand for what you say, take accountability when you fail and fall, and show up consistently. #youarewhatyoudo
CURIOUS. Why? What? How? Who? When? Where? It’s about questioning…it’s about never settling…it’s about reading a room and being inquisitive rather than judgmental. It is about the yearning to never stop learning. It goes without saying that being genuine, humble and respectful when seeking answers are non-negotiable…it is the curious soul that succeeds because they fail, they invite diversity, they seek out feedback and opinions, and they never settle for ‘what has been or what is.’
