Written on April 17th, 2020.

To those who are part of the fabric of my life…who know me better than most…who have been there through the chapters…and who I hope will be there for many more…I’ve thought about how to start this off…and what I came up might seem appropriate to you all…I begin with a quote…one of my all-time favorites.

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take…but by the moments that take your breath away

This quote has more meaning to me now more than ever…In the past week here’s what I’ve learned… 
Brain surgery is no joke. It is scary and surreal to comprehend. It is not something anyone truly wants to have on their list of accomplishments. That said, it is now on my list of things to conquer. And not only conquer…but show that it will not be anything that defines me, slows me down, defines me. Rather it will become part of my fabric that I wear proud.

I will admit. It has been difficult to tell each of you what is going on. Why? Because I have always been the rock (or appear so). I don’t like to feel weak. It is hard for me to be vulnerable. It is hard to ask for help. In telling each of you, I have learned that is actually helps. It allows you to see me in a different light that strengthens the importance of each of you in my life. If these types of situations teach you anything, other than life is short and truly about breath taking moments, it is who truly matter. I forget sometimes I don’t always have to be the rock. 

I have been asked “how are you handling this?” and “what do you need?” and “how can I help?” I haven’t given a good answer to those questions. Yet I owe that to you all, my trusted circle. Why? Because me being selfish, me trying to be strong, me carrying this solo doesn’t accomplish anything and doesn’t allow you all to have an answer to your questions. So…I am asking for help…in the best way I know how…by giving you options and leaving it to each of you to do with it what you will – and knowing that I expect absolutely nothing other than each of you being your real, true selves.

So here I go…

First. I need you to stay positive. I need you to stay strong. I need you to be my rock. I am scared and I am the one having my head cut open – and I can carry that burden. I don’t need you to play the what-if game, to spiral, to be sad. Stay positive, be real, and help me to stay strong.

Second. Brain surgery is brain surgery. No way to slice it that sounds ‘better.’ That said, I don’t need to be treated in a special manner or handled with care. I am a strong, independent, passionate and capable woman…one who sometimes also needs to realize that she needs help in order to be the best she can be. So treat me like you would any other day of the week. 

Third. I might go crazy not having work and other distractions for 2+ weeks. I have to heal. I know that. I only get one brain. So that said…here’s where you can help

• I crave human interaction – and since we are in quarantine – I would love to catch up with you all via video if you want… don’t worry, I am not busy, so your schedule will dictate schedule here. I am a phone-call away.
• I am going to have to get outside to go on walks. My logical side says I should do that with someone. So we can walk 6 feet apart. Obviously I understand many of you aren’t comfortable being ‘in the flesh’ – but if you are, raise your hand and let’s get outside for essential mental health.
• Some of you offered to set up a meal-train. I don’t need this. But if you feel compelled to send a meal or a delivery – here is my address…

Fourth and final. I believe that we do not get through life alone. I believe in positive energy and thoughts. So whether you are someone who wakes up or goes to bed with a practice of gratitude, prayer, meditation or kind thoughts…if you are compelled to send positive vibes my way, I will take them all. Especially on 4/27.

I opened with a quote and I will end with the lyrics of a song that hits a chord with me every time I hear it…

“Girl…you’ll see the world. And you’ll come to learn…that falling in love is a strange work of art. All of your battles will shape who you are. And know that your scars are my favorite part. Girl, you’ll see the world.”

I want you all to know. I’ve got a lot of living left to do, a lot of the world to see. I have a lot to live for. I have a lot left to accomplish. And after 4/27 I am going to have one badass scar that will become a “moment that took my breath away” and that I will look back on with a humbled appreciation. I appreciate each of you in ways you will never quite understand. So all I can say is THANK YOU…for being part of my fabric. I look forward to continuing to create moments that take our breath away together…

Love,
Meg